Thursday, November 12, 2009

Short but sweet?

So I don't talk about faith much.
I'm not sure how comfortable I am talking about it.

My brother and I were sitting in the livingroom looking through movies on this website. He settled on a movie that I wasn't interested in and so I chose one at random to watch on my laptop.

It was called Fireproof. A movie that I didn't know it when i started, but it ended up being one of those movies that talk about faith, show how when God comes into someones life how things can change for the better...etc. Very cheesy acting and very cheesy dialogue.

While I may not be the most religious person around these here parts, I am certainly not the least religious. I think God plays a large role in my life and for that I am greatful.

The best quote of the entire movie is at the end, right before the credits.

"But God demonstrated His own love towards us in this: That while we were still sinners Christ died for us." Romans 5:8

Pretty powerful stuff, eh?

I don't know what the point of writing this down was... just felt like sharing that passage I guess.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Self Doubt is a bitch.

So as my last post stated, I'm training a "newbie" at my work.

It has been longer than a week now, obviously, and things are both good and bad.

The worst part about this journey is all the self doubt I have. I think it is finally coming to a head because I just started crying out of nowhere as my sister was driving me home.

I know for a fact that I am good at my job. Well, the one I am training someone to takeover. I can do that job on auto pilot. However, as most of you know, I suck at dealing with change.
I have been told I am an "old soul". I'm like an old woman. Stubborn. Set in her ways.
The nice part about what I'm teaching is that the ways I am set in weren't mine to begin with. The company, having been around for a long time, has ways of doing things that just plum work. The bad part for me, is that I have no experience in teaching them.

All I have to go on is how I learned those ways. However, we all learn differently and at different paces. I've been getting some guidance from Mme.Awesome. That's right, eventhough she abandoned us (ok, not abandoned) she still offers great advice for me to follow. Which is a HUGE asset.

However, here is where the self doubt comes in. I've never trained in this field before. I don't know if I'm doing it right.
What if *I'm* failing Newbie? What if they would do better under different guidance!?!

Man oh man. Who knows!?!

It doesn't help that I've been sick on top of all this training. I'm feeling run down constantly with a healthy dose of self doubt and stress thrown in the for the kicker.

I've never wanted it to be friday so bad in my life....

Time to crawl into a hole and cover myself up with blankets.